Try this tonight
Five simple things you can do
Your child may be talking about one hard day. Or this may keep happening. You don’t need to know yet. Come close and listen first.
By Aimee & Batsirai Chada · Updated August 19, 2026
Listen before you try to make it better.
You may want to name every friend who loves them. Pause. Let your child tell you what happened first.
Ask what happened.
Try: “Tell me what happened today.” Use a calm voice. Let your child tell the story in their own words.
Name the hurt.
Try: “That sounds lonely,” or, “You felt left out.” This shows your child that you heard them.
Remind them they belong.
Try: “You belong with me. I’m not going anywhere.” You can also say, “God’s love for you has not changed.”
Ask what would help.
Try: “Do you want me to listen, help you plan for tomorrow, or talk to a grown-up?” Let your child help choose the next step.
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You don’t need perfect words.
Come close.
Ask, “What happened?”
Listen without fixing it yet.
Say back the hurt you heard.
Choose the next step together.
What not to say first
- “That’s not true.” It can feel like you don’t believe them. Listen first.
- Naming every friend they have. Your child may start arguing about each name. Ask what happened first.
- “Just ignore them.” Your child may need your help or a teacher’s help.
- “What did you do?” This can sound like blame. Ask what happened first.
When to ask the school for help
Talk to the school if this keeps happening. Do it right away if your child feels unsafe or reports threats or bullying.
Ask what the teacher has seen. Make a simple plan together. Keep checking in until the problem stops.
Read the parent guidance at StopBullying.govHelp your child feel safe with you
“You belong with me. I’m not going anywhere” does not fix the friendship. It tells your child they don’t have to face it alone.
You don’t need a perfect speech. Stay close. Listen. Then take the next step with them.
What they say
“Nobody likes me.”
What they're starting to believe
“Being left out means I’m not wanted.”
Behavior is the fruit of a belief taking root. Speak to the belief.
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More moments
More help for other hard moments
What to say
When your child says, “I’m stupid.”
Ask what felt hard. Remind your child that hard does not mean stupid. Then take one small step together.
Read this moment →
What to say
When your child says, “Do you still love me?”
Tell your child you love them first. Then talk about what happened and help them make it right.
Read this moment →
What should I say when my child says nobody likes me?
Start with: “Tell me what happened today.” Name the hurt you hear. Then say: “You belong with me. I’m not going anywhere.” Ask what help they want.
Should I tell my child that saying nobody likes them is not true?
Not yet. If you correct them too fast, they may feel unheard. Ask what happened. Name the hurt. Then remind them who loves them.
When should I contact the school?
Contact the school if this keeps happening. Contact them right away if your child feels unsafe or reports threats or bullying. Share what happened and ask for a clear plan.